Stop Trying to Change Another Person
A friend asked me whether I can "change" her son since I mentor students who are similar age. Without talking to her son, I told the mother that I cannot "change" her son. The change can only come from within.
A change only comes when the person accepts the imperfection within themselves and are willing to do something about it. If the person feels that there is nothing wrong, nothing is going to happen. Therefore, I cannot change another person. My role as a mentor only acts as a guide and adapt to the relationship.
I made the same mistake of trying to change my kids. I failed miserably. The attempt damaged our relationship. Things only improved after I was willing to accept their perspective and supported their interests. They did not become what I want them to become, they become what they choose to become. As long as they live a life of responsibilities, I am not in the position to say they are wrong.
Remember, we cannot change any person. We can only guide them. To change or not to change, it is their choice.