No One Told Me this When I Started my Business
I quit my full-time job and started my business in mid 2020. The first 3.5 years was difficult as my annual income dropped by at least 70%. The most common advice that I received is to keep grinding and stay discipline.
I enjoyed limited success. I thought I have reached escape velocity where my business is able to pay my bills and afford something nice for the family. My own mistake pulled me back into the red. With the earlier success, I know I can survive this setback, but I am both angry and disappointed at myself.
No one told me about the permanent sense of dread and incompetence. Every night, I close the day by going through the to-do list, the sense of "not enough" is in the back of my mind. My inner dialog keeps telling me, I can do more, I can do better, I can achieve more. I am not good enough. I have wasted my time. I go to bed feeling like a loser.
When I wake up, it starts over again. The grind, the goals, the social and family commitments. Running my own business has given me a sense of financial security. There were months where I happily pay off my bills and still have some left for savings. I should be contented but I also know I am just one bad news away to lose it all.
Someone told me my time will come as success is not a straight line. The less mistake I make, the sooner it will arrive. Yet, my main question is, the feeling of hunger and dread, will it ever go away?