Today I am 49 Years Young
I still cannot believe I am more than half-way of my life expectancy. Are there any words of wisdom? I don't think I have any. Even if I did, it would be in this blog already.
The last 12 months, I have accomplished most of the things that I have set out to do. Yet, I find no peace within myself. The sense of frustrations and fear of failure never go away. This has haunted me all my life.
I am grateful for my family's silent support. All these years, I have not heard any complaints from them. As I reflect today, I have also not full filled the promises that I made for them. I owe my wife a new car as her car is nearly 20 years old. More than twenty years ago, she told her about her dream car. I promised her that I will get her dream car, I never did. It is a promise that's long overdue.
I have also promised my family a good holiday outside of the continent, which I have also not full filled. I kept telling them next year and next year. The "next year" never came.
As far as I have experienced, there was no overnight success. Each step and hard work counts. There were many days where I feel my life was doing the moonwalk. No matter how hard I work, I am going backwards. Just remember, going backwards does not you have not learned. You are just heading the wrong direction.
If I have to use one word to describe the last 365 days to reach today's milestone. The word would be "reflection". Writing this blog has opened up my heart to see the world in a positive manner. My private diary made a bitter angry person. By sitting down and reflecting my day, I learned that most of my days are not too bad. I just took those good days for granted and focused on the bad days.
If there is something that I want to tell myself. It would be, "You still have a long way to go, but you are also good enough to enjoy today."