What's The Relationship with Yourself?
Regular reader of this blog would know that I do not have a good relationship with myself. I always feel like an imposter, and I am never good enough. I confess that I have a lot of self-loathing.
My mentor told me that such self-loathing would spill into my relationship with others. If I treat myself badly, how should I expect others to treat me? Others would mirror my behaviour and my thoughts. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I am being ill-treated, I will get angry, blame others and hold grudge against those who wronged me. Then, I hate myself even more.
I am the root cause of my problem because I have allowed others to treat me badly. Beating up myself so that I can do better can only bring short-term success. To have bigger and longer-term successes, I must tell myself that I deserve it. In short, I must think like a winner and treat myself like a winner. This becomes a vicious cycle.
If you are socially challenged or filled with self-loathing. Every day spend a few minutes hugging yourself. Tell yourself that it is okay, you have done your best and bigger success still awaits. Self-love and self-compassion take time to develop. Occasionally, you will fall back to your old ways. This is fine. Hug yourself once more and shower yourself with kindness.
Don't worry, you have a whole lifetime to love yourself.